Blue Read online

  “I…uhhh…got laid off.” I averted my eyes. “Friday. Just a bad time of year, I guess.”

  “That’s too bad. Where from?”

  “A company called Jensen & Jensen.”

  “Hmmm. I know how rough layoffs can be in this industry. Haven’t heard of Jensen & Jensen. Are they a big outfit?”

  “You could say they’re a big deal in…construction.” In my eyes, it wasn’t a total lie. I thought about Tony and his many penile procedures as I carefully formed my words. “They’ve done some unimaginable projects over the past few years and have experienced significant…growth. Definite trendsetters that don’t like to be caught with their…pants down. Not afraid to take risks when things get…hard.”

  He leaned back in his chair. “What was your role within the company?”

  “Paper pushing mostly. There were a few projects I worked on consistently outside the office.” I thought back to my half-drawer at Cash’s condo.

  Office work for a plastic surgeon and for a construction company could translate easily. Yeah, even I wasn’t convinced. I hoped my uncle wouldn’t do a whole lot of digging behind who they were. Maybe since we were family, he’d take my word at face value, realize what a great addition I’d be to his company, and the rest would be history. Easy peasy!

  “And you left on good terms without complications or issues? I can’t stand office drama.”

  “I was told my letter of recommendation would arrive in the mail next week.” I beamed.

  He leaned back in his chair and templed his index fingers as he looked deep in thought. “I might have an idea for a trial run.” He shook his head. “No. I can’t. You’re here for a funeral. Elana’d have my hide if she knew we were having this conversation right now. She may be my sister-in-law, well, ex-sister-in-law, sort of ex-sister-in-law…whatever we’re calling her these days. Either way, she packs a wallop.”

  “Trust me, I know how she is, and nothing’s changed there. I’ve been out of touch with everyone in the family for the most part.” I sat up straighter and made a motion as if I were locking my lips. “She doesn’t have to know we met today.”

  “Are you sure you’re up to transition jobs so quickly? Don’t you need some time to process? Standard bereavement leave is two weeks when it comes to immediate family passing away.”

  I thought about my step-father. Nothing felt immediate with him then and never had in the past. “Tom and I weren’t tight. I can compartmentalize my emotions, and I can make this work. The situation going on back home isn’t a dynamic of my capabilities.”

  “I do like that answer. But if you and Tom weren’t close, then why are you here?” he asked. “In Steele Falls, I mean.”

  I opened my mouth and shut it twice while the question resonated inside me. Part of me was starting to wonder the same damn thing myself. The money aspect was still relevant, but it felt more trivial the longer I stuck around. “I—”

  He cut me off before I had time to invent another lie. “I’ll tell you what. There’s a job I’ve been mulling over for the past few months. Honestly, I wasn’t sure who’d be suited to handle it internally, and I haven’t made the time to work on it. But I’m willing to give you a shot if a few of the project managers agree you have the necessary experience.”

  I smiled, the tension melting out of my shoulders. “Thank you! You have no idea how much this means to me.”

  “Meet me here for a business dinner at five tonight. I’ll drive over with you to meet with a couple of the people involved. If it’s a good fit, we’ll give it a shot. No promises until they weigh in though.”

  I clasped my hands together. “You won’t regret this. I swear.”

  Little did I know, I would be the one doing the regretting.

  I practically skipped on my way back to the house. If I wasn’t hungover, maybe a cartwheel or two would’ve been possible. The past few days’ worth of crap had almost been forgotten, and then my phone rang. An unknown local number flashed on the screen. I clicked the green button. “Hello?”

  “Blue? Blue Brennan?” a raspy voice asked.

  I stopped on the sidewalk. “Yes, that’s me.”

  “This is Eddie Miller…from Fast Eddie’s. You forgot to give me your number before you skedaddled out of here on Friday, but I found it scribbled on some paperwork in your glove compartment. I’m a regular gumshoe!”

  “Eddie!” My euphoria from the meeting with Ty still hadn’t subsided, so I didn’t even bring up the topic he was a few days late in contacting me. “How are you?”

  “I’m good.” He paused. “A lot better than your car.”

  Suddenly, my cloud nine mood plummeted and my feet were firmly planted back on the ground as I trudged up the porch to the house. Words like overhaul, lemon, and cracked cylinder were what stuck out most from our conversation. And the price to have it fixed left me reeling. If I didn’t know better, dollar signs were spinning behind my eyes like a slot machine refusing to pay out. It was far more than I’d expected, and it’d likely have been more cost-effective to buy a new car. But I didn’t have an established job for the financing.

  After telling Eddie I needed to think about what I wanted him to do, I opened the front door with a heavy heart. Praying the day would look up, I locked it behind me and hoped for a few minutes alone.

  My wish was short-lived.

  “Blue, come to the kitchen. Now,” my mother’s voice sounded through the house, and it sliced the air like a hot knife through butter.

  I walked down the hall, my mood already soured from the talk with Eddie. Listening to whatever bullshit Elana was about to unload on me left me on the verge of snapping. “What? I haven’t written anything for the funeral yet, and I don’t need to be chastised for it.”

  Her eyes were cold and emotionless, but the redness spanning her cheeks and her folded arms told another story. A total paradox. It was poker face, level expert.

  In turn, I crossed my arms. Mockery was certain to make the situation better. Okay, maybe not.

  “Care to tell me what the hell is going on around here?” Her entire body shook with rage.

  “What are you up in arms about now?” I asked. “I’ve done what you wanted and stayed out of your hair. Just like old times.”

  “Are you trying to destroy my chances at being re-elected?” Her upper lip twitched as she spoke. “Would that make you happy?”

  “No?” My unintended lilt formed the response into a question.

  “When were you going to tell me? Did you think you’d be able to hide it forever? What you’ve gone and done is a big deal, missy.”

  Oh, no. She’d broken out the M-word. Shit was about to get real. “Find. Out. What? Why do people around here have to act so fucking cryptic about everything?” I asked through bared teeth, my voice rising and my tone hardening. “It’s like one of those artsy movies. Everyone watches and pretends to get it, but no one really understands what’s happening.”

  She walked over to the counter and yanked opened a drawer, the contents all sliding to the front from the force. Rifling through the junk, she slammed items on the counter. Tape measure. Ball of string. Stapler. Old cell phone charger. All of them seemed pretty common for a crap drawer. Finally, she gripped a white stick and thrust it in my direction. That was the mystery item that didn’t belong. “Here. Since you think I’m stupid.”

  “Are we playing board games now? Was it Elana Meyers in the kitchen with a white piece of plastic?” I asked.

  “Take it.” She waved it my direction and forced it into my hand. “You know damn well what that is. You two bonded with a golden shower not too long ago.”

  I looked down at the object resting against my palm. My brain told me it was one thing, but my eyes refused to acknowledge it. A square window was on one end with a prominent plus sign on it. The other
showed a bright blue company logo fading into hot pink that read, “Possibly Pregnant?”

  Fuck. My. Life.

  I tried to hide my shock, but my own poker face had been rusty since arriving in Steele Falls. “I don’t know what you’re so upset about.” I offered it back to her. “It’s not mine.”

  “If it’s not yours, who does it belong to? Finn isn’t here, and I doubt he’d even know what to do with a…” She scrunched her eyes shut for a moment before continuing. “Daveigh isn’t dumb enough to get herself knocked up and leave the evidence in the garbage can. So, that leaves—”

  “Wait, did you call me dumb…” My eyes flicked up at my mom and I could see Daveigh, who’d entered the room sometime during the conversation. She stared at me from behind Elana with tears welling in her eyes. Lower lip trembling, my little sister silently mouthed the word, “Please?”

  If there were ever a time in my life to protect Daveigh, it was then. I shut my eyes and remained quiet while every curse word in the book flitted through my mind.

  Damn it.

  “Okay, you’re right. I’m pregnant.” I smacked the countertop with my hand. “And I did it out of spite so I could ruin your chances at winning the election. That’s all I could think about the entire time he fucked me six ways to Sunday. Happy now?”

  “Hardly. And you can drop your load of sarcasm at the door. Since someone else has already dropped theirs in your vagina.” She narrowed her eyes. “Who’s the father?”

  The father. Double shit. I had no baby daddy lined up for the story’s next chapter.

  “It’s no one you know,” I lied, fumbling for a name. The next sentence flew out of my mouth faster than one of Cash’s cock sneezes. “He’s a plastic surgeon.” Really, Blue? You couldn’t do better than Cash?

  “Great. Not even a ‘real doctor’.” She used air quotes as she let her hands fall, her palms slapping her outer thighs. “How could you be so stupid? The media—”

  “He went to medical school for eight years. Cash is a real doctor.”

  “Blue, plastic surgeons don’t save lives. They inject with Botox and suck fat off asses. They sculpt noses and make people into who they aren’t. That’s hardly worth commending with a degree, let alone a paycheck.”

  “And being a politician is worthy of applause?” I never thought I’d see the day where I’d be defending Cash, but there I stood. I glanced toward the window to check the weather. Maybe hell had frozen over.

  She bumped the drawer closed with her hip. “So, when’s the wedding?”

  Hold up, home slice! Marriage? My eyes bulged. Why did the conversation have to take a detour out in left field? “No to a wedding, Mom. We broke up.” Okay, so there was some truth.

  Her jaw dropped. “So, you’re going to do what exactly? Raise this child alone? On your salary?”

  “By the way, it gets better,” I lowered my voice to a whisper and narrowed my eyes. “Not only did I get laid, but I got laid off.”

  She rubbed her temples with her fingertips. “Oh, for the love of everything Holy. I’m going to have to up my blood pressure medication over this.”

  “A wedding doesn’t solve problems. You should know that from when you married that fuckwad father of mine. The only reason you did it was because you were knocked up with me!”

  I’d pushed the envelope.

  Her teeth bared. I watched her choke on the toxic words she wanted to spew at me. I wasn’t certain why she didn’t follow through.

  “What? You don’t think I can do it on my own? I’ll figure things out.” For a moment, I almost wanted to take it on as a personal challenge to prove her wrong. I’d forgotten I wasn’t actually pregnant.

  “I don’t think you understand how much work it takes to raise a kid,” she said. “You lose sleep, you lose freedom, you lose—”

  I couldn’t help but laugh. “Are you shitting me right now?”

  “Blue.” Daveigh touched my arm. “Don’t.”

  I couldn’t hold back. It was the straw that broke the pseudo-pregnant woman’s back. “For all the times you were too busy with the election to handle your own children? I may have well as been Daveigh and Finn’s parent.” I began counting tasks off on my fingers. “I did the cooking, the cleaning, helped with their homework before I did my own. I tucked them in and read them bedtime stories every damn night! What did you do? That’s right. Came home late at night after campaign meetings and went to bed, only to do the same damn thing the next damn day. Wash. Rinse. Repeat. It was as if we didn’t even exist.”

  She gripped the top of a dining room chair, her knuckles whitening.

  Daveigh pleaded. “Let it go.”

  “No, ‘Veigh. I’ve bit my tongue for too long.” I turned my attention from my sister back to my mother. “If you spent half the time worrying about your kids as you do about how the media portrays you, maybe we wouldn’t be such a fucking dysfunctional family. You were a wife and a parent to nothing but your political status.”

  She recoiled, as if I’d shot her in the chest, and it was the biggest stance I’d ever taken against her.

  “Look at us, Mom. Take a good look around. Do you know of any other family who goes through what we did growing up?” I stood my ground and awaited her response. Waited for the pain. Waited for the anger. It had to come at some point.

  But it didn’t. Poker face remained engaged.

  Something ticked inside me at that very second. It was a mirror effect, and I hated that it took an altercation with my mother to learn something about myself. In our heated words, I understood that I’d become her. Over the past two years, I’d learned how to bury my feelings. Being absent from all of it numbed the pain that I fought so hard to evade. I didn’t know how to deal with any of it now that I was back. All I could do was deflect.

  “What’s it gonna take to get some emotion out of you?” I yelled.

  She still didn’t acknowledge a word of what I said. She merely swallowed, straightened out her blouse, and then stilled. “The plans for the funeral have changed. You’re to read a scripture verse. I don’t need some pregnant, hormonal, twenty-something year old bumbling her way through a speech I haven’t approved. And don’t go advertising this error you made to the town. I still have to figure out a way put a positive spin on it.”

  “Well, Elana, it’ll make you happy to know I’ll be leaving in a couple of days, so you’ll never have to worry about this baby.” I cradled my abdomen. “But I’m pretty sure the town of Steele Falls doesn’t give a rip whether the mayor’s daughter is pregnant. Enjoy not knowing your grandchild.”

  The corners of her mouth drooped farther into a frown before she went to speak, but I didn’t care about what she had to say.

  “Trust me. I’ve got this just fine on my own.” I cut her off and headed toward the door, narrowing my eyes at Daveigh. My voice rumbled through my chest, “You owe me. More than you’ve ever owed me in your entire life.”

  The look on her face was filled with a mixture of thirty-five percent panic, thirty-five percent regret, and thirty percent indecision.

  I slammed the front door behind me, letting the screen door slap shut as an echo. How the hell was I going to get myself out of my situation? I had no clue.

  I sat down on the porch swing and pushed back, locking my knees to brace the seat in place. Anger pulsed in my veins, and I didn’t even feel the cold as it whipped through my sweater. A few minutes later, Daveigh closed the door quietly behind her.

  My little sister stood in front of me, looking guilty as hell.

  “Well, I could really use a drink right now, which seems to be the common theme to this visit,” I said. “But I’m pretty sure the eyes and ears of the town will turn me in to the momster police if I make one wrong move with an imaginary baby hiding in my uterus. So, thanks for that,” I said.
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br />   Daveigh remained silent as she shifted her weight.

  I looked up at her and cocked my head to the side. “Talk to me. Tell me what’s going on. I’m your sister.”

  “Just because you’re my sister, doesn’t mean you’re my friend,” she mumbled.

  “What happened to us? We used to tell each other everything. Pregnant? That’s a huge secret to keep hidden.”

  “Everything changed when you left. It was so different.” Her voice hitched. “Where were you when I needed you?”

  “‘Veigh…”

  “Damn it, Blue. Don’t give me that look, like I failed you. I’m pregnant; I didn’t commit a crime I need to fess up about. I’m sorry I got you involved in all this.” She blotted her eyes with a tissue. “I peed on a dozen sticks before I believed it was true. Trust me, I bought every last one the dollar store had. The one Mommy found had fallen behind the vanity, and I didn’t notice it when I took the others to the dumpster behind the coffee stand last week. I thought I buried it deep enough in the bathroom trash. Didn’t know she examined every fucking wad of dryer lint and piece of dental floss before she took it out.”

  “Why didn’t you tell me on the phone Friday?” I asked.

  She let a laugh out through her nose. “Do you really think you’d have come to Steele Falls if you knew beforehand? Be honest. It wouldn’t have swayed your decision a damn bit.”

  I tried to answer her, and I thought about flinging her comment back about the horse tranquilizers she’d made earlier, but I genuinely didn’t know what to say. Would I have come to support my sister or would I have chalked it up to more of her hysterics and swept it all under the rug?

  My voice was timid, “I don’t know what I would’ve done.”

  “Kinda what I expected you to say,” she replied before blowing a wisp of hair out of her face.

  I leaned back farther into the porch swing before lifting my feet. “Who’s the father?”

  “Who do you think?”

  My eyes widened. “Please tell me you didn’t go back for one last pump and dump with Gene. Is there going to be a mini Rent-A-Cop running around here in a handful of months?” I wrinkled my nose.